错过了才懂得珍惜.

Blogging about when you missed out a things then you only know how to appreciate.

Firstly is about my grandma:(

Grandma is my vvvvvvip in my life.

She is the one who raised me up besides my parents. 

Whenever I am at home now,

I realized my home is sort of empty. 

Without my grandma sound where she used to mumble me to do housework.

Today, when I help my mum to do some housework I only realized my grandma actually did a lot of housework last time.

She trim the flowers and grass, watering the plants, sweep the floor, drying our clothes, hanging our clothes and lots of stuff my grandma had done for us last time. 

But I didn't realized that until she went to a place that very far from us.

I only realized actually those houseworks supposingly is we, youngster to do. 

Not my grandma!

I hate myself for being a lazy bump last time.

But luckily I do help out my grandma last time.

If not I will hate myself more.

And today I saw a cockroach in the toilet. 

Last time, I will run to my grandma and ask her to help me.

But today, I have to settle the cockroach myself. 

Luckily, dad was here today.

So he help me out to throw the cockroach away.

Don't worry, grandma. 

I will not be a lazy bump anymore.

I will be brave:)

I miss your voice by calling my name, 'ah yen' in Cantonese. 

Imy.

Secondly, imy too.

I try to text you but I scare I annoyed you.

I try to be friends with you but I scare to accept the rejection.

I hope to ask for an outing with you but I scare I can't talk to you personally.

I got lots of stuff to tell to you.

I seriously hope you will understand me.

I never give up yet even though my brain ask me to give up. 

Do you know I hate myself being like this. 

Sigh.

Now, I only know you are important to me.

Thirdly, bestfriends.

Last time I have plenty of friends around me. 

Now I also have alot of friends but my bestfriends.

Last time I used to be with friends around me that make me feel secured cause I am not alone.

Now, no. 

I don't know why.

Am I that not important till you all didn't put me in your friend list.

I don't mind if you didn't ask me for dinner or addme into chat group. 

But at least don't ignore me.

I feel like being betrayed.

Hmmm.

I think betrayed is too harsh.

I feel like being ignored. *sounds better* 

Well, someone told me. 

Bestfriends/truefriends are hard to find.

Once you found them, then you must appreciate.

Yes, it is true.

I appreciated them but I don't know what  are their perception. 

But I am still lucky to have shiwei here. 

She is one of my best and crazy girlfriends in my Uni life:) 

Fourth, last time I used to have a best and crazy guy bestfriend.

He used to protect me.

He used to talk to me.

He used to tell me his stuff.

I used to tell him my stuff also.

Last time, people thought we were in relationship.

But honestly, we are not.

We are just somehow a damn close friends.

Don't know since when.

We are like strangers. 

*reasons, is because of me*

Maybe my immature thinking/action/perception make us become like a strangers. 

Finally, I text him and tell him that I'm sorry for being so childish last time.

I hope we can still become close friends again if you don't mind.

But I know he got lots of friends now.

So I am no longer the close friend on his list. 

However, I sincerely apologize again.

I seriously hope we can still talk to each other:) 

Sigh.

I should enjoy my raya breaks happily. 

But instead of that I am blogging here.

Cause I have no idea to tell who.

Is okay!

I tell myself don't emo and think too much. 

Cheers Michelle Foong.

Selca myself to make myself happier. ❤❤❤ 

P/s: I'm still wondering is there someone who still appreciating me as a friends or closemates? Haha. Lucky me if i still got:)

jealousy kills.

heyyo~

my post for today is jealousy kills.

i think i did post about jealousy previously

well, i got to update some about jealousy.

what does mean by jealousy.

seriously wth i am thinking.

i also dont know. 

jealousy.

what do you think about jealousy.

usually, i will get jealous easily.

is so damn easily.

i dont know why.

haha. 

is my personality since i am a kid.

but when i grow older, my jealousy level is reducing.

but today.

hellno.

my jealousy level went up today.

i used o get jealous in all sort of matter.

friends jealousy.

relationship jealousy.

family jealousy.

goods jealousy.

pretty jealousy.

all sort of stuff.

LOL.

i saw something that make me feel uncomfortable today.

what did i saw. nah, it's a secret here.

why do i get jealous over it instead there are actually not a big deal?

why why why.

please tell me why.

dumbasshole. 

:X

A step that change everything

Have you ever wonder once you move a step then everything will be different. 

Have anyone of you think about this before.

I just realize it is actually important to move a step forward first. 

It might change the entire story or life. 

Seems so dramatic. 

But I think it is quite true.

I have been wondering. 

How if I didn't move the step.

How if I move the step.

What will be happen. 

Nobody will know. 

Recently, I feel like I am a dumbfoolish girl! 

What is actually happening to me. 

My brain, please focus on  your study! 

My heart, please close the wound faster!

My eyes, please see the next person properly.

My ears, please listen carefully and attentively. 

My hands, please hold the right next person tightly. 

My legs, please walk with the right next person slowly.

Finally, my heart, please feel and treat the right next person sweetly.

Haha.

I hope I can do the above that I mentioned:) 

Loves. 

Noobie me. Haha.

Fatty me. :p

Crazy me. XD

My bestbuddy, shiwei:)

I don't know where I get the courage from.

I seriously don't know what happen to me yesterday. 

I think I seriously went crazy already.

But thanks to my sweetheart, shiwei for always being with me.

Without her, I think I couldn't make my first step.

Thanks 38po for always being with me. You know how grateful am I to have you as me bestbudy. Even though we seldom meet yet we are still close. And we got lots of topics to chat. Non stop chatting and laughing yesterday. Haha! I think I make you crazy yesterday too! XD

Seriously, I love your soup and bracelet:) 

Thanks for being so understanding to me. ❤❤❤❤❤ I think you are the only who can read my mind even though I hide my feeling! 

Haha.

You seriously my bestbuddy. Mwahhh. 

Your delicious abc soup. Slurppp. ❤

❤❤❤❤❤ p/s: don't mad on me for this photo ya. XD 

When wanna hangout again ya, 38po? 

It seems like we have been a time didn't I out together le:(

Miss the time we spend together and shop together at kl:) 

my grandma :)

i think i never blog about my grandma before.

my grandma or i usually call her as mama.

she is a brave and sweet lady.

she never say no whenever you need her help.

i still remember when i am a kid, she used to hold my hand and carried my school bag for me.

she used to walk out with me to wait for my school bus.

she offered her help to carry my heavy school bag even though she was tired.

she never say NO whenever she can help.

but when time pass.

wrinkles start to appear on her face.

her back start to hunch.

her appetite is not as good as before.

last time, when i hold her hand i can felt the fleshy and warm hand.

but i dont know since when her hand is becoming skinnier and skinnier.

when i hold her hand recently, i can felt her bone :(

she was so brave and strong when she is admitted in the hospital.

she even recognize me.

she used to tell me to drive slowly and not to back often to visit her.

she told me she scare i will skip my class.

when she is in ICU, she is so weak until she barely speak.

yet she still tell me she is fine.

tears rolling when i saw her lying on the bed with weak body.

then she is transferred to HDU. 

i am so lucky to have my day with my grandma at hospital.

i promised my grandma to overnight at there and accompany her.

i was late for 15mins and i'm so sorry to make my grandma worried.

she thought i am lost or being kidnapped. :')

nurse told me that my grandma has been calling my name for several times :(

sorry for making you so worried :/

then she is transferred to normal ward.

i thought you are in recovering process.

but NO, you mentioned that you wanted to go home.

and you said that even if you wanted to leave us you will leaved us at home :(

then you are finally home.
but you are weaken than before.
oxygen supplier is a need for you cause you barely breath.
when i step into your room, tears start to roll down.
but i hold my tears and call you several times.
slowly you open your eyes and smile with a weak smile.
i say you will be fine and dont worry.
you just smile:')
the next day, i still manage to make a cup of milk for you.
you say you wanted to take the medicine.
i thought you will be okay.
but time pass.
you left us at 3.45pm :'(
now, is almost 2 weeks you left us.
but memories of you are still fresh in my mind.
#imissyou#grandma
i hope you are enjoying yourself at another world and remember to take good care of yourself.
i will take good care of myself here.
so, dont worry about me:)
#iloveyou#memories#

:(

you will forever important in my heart, my lovely grandma:')

iloveyou <3

it has been a month. :/

hey there!
haha.
i dont know whether people are still reading my blog.
since i abandon it for so long.
it has been a month since i break up with him.
well.
it's not easy to pass through these days.
the hardest days is break up during final exam!
it seriously hurts a lot as i seriously put a lot of effort in this relationship.
friends around me, they noticed my changes.
but HE never noticed it.
i change from not going out with boyf to going out with HIM even though still not so frequent.
i change from not finding my boyf first to find HIM and wait for him to finish his labwork.
i change from not talking so much about my boyf to frequently talk about HIM with my friends.
i change from not texting my boyf first to texting HIM first sometimes.
i change from not requesting a recover for a r'ship to texting HIM and request to save back the r'ship.
i change from not crying for a guy to crying for HIM so much.
i change from not being a understanding girl to a understanding girlf to HIM.
i change alot because of him.
i know i aint a good girlf for my past r'ship.
but i tried to change a lot for him.
and he didnt realize it.
do you thought i am so strong?
i'm just pretending all the way!
i'm just pretending strong in front of my friends.
i still laugh. i still smile.
yet i feel hurt when i view back the text he send to me.
am i not that good till you feel that this r'ship is a burden for you?
i didnt request anything from you.
i just need you to understand me.
and you never told me about your problems even though i asked you.
and you told me you need time to trust me.
am i look like not trustable to you?
perhaps ya.
and i understand that. i didnt forced you to tell me too.
you said i didnt treat you like a boyf.
well, izit that important to tell the whole world that we are in a relationship?
i thought you said you dont mind about these when we were together at first.
i never deny when my friends ask me.
i admit that you are my boyf when my friends ask me.
still it is not enough for you.
i apologized for that and still you dont want to give us another chance.
you are giving up so easily when you faced problems.
i feel dissapointed but well, maybe you deserved a better girlf.
i hate myself for still thinking of you!
however, i promise myself to forget you as soon as possible.
it seems that i'm the only one who feel sad and cried for the r'ship.
it seems like doesnt matter for you.
i understood and i know is time for me to give up.
yes!
i will give up..
i know i will meet someone who is much better in the future:)
i know i can..
:)

finally!

OHYES!
finally, interaction camp was over.
honestly, i feel "berat hati" when the camp was officially end.
we plan and prepared so well for few months.
but happy times will forever pass very fast.
our 2 days 1 night camp just pass like that.
i was overjoyed with the participants respond even though we cant manage to get 40 participants
yet, i can proudly said that the camp was SUCCESSFUL!
i enjoy myself throughout the camp especially with the extreme activities!
first time ever i went for caving and waterfall abseiling.
was a wonderful experience!
and i get to know many little brothers. HAHA
all those participants are little boys.
they are just too cute for me.
they call me "mum" throughout the camp cause they say i take care so well on them
haha:D
so proud of it.
somemore they say they didnt feel regret for joining the camp.
it seriously melt my heart when i received good respond from the participants.
we seriously laugh and enjoy alot throughout the camp.
i would like to say that i dont feel regret for organizing the camp even though we faced alot of challenges at first.
broga hill camp!
i will never forget about it.
the happiness, the laughter, the hiking time that i went through with the participants.
thanks so much for the committees group!:)
well done for us! *claps hand*
hees.
thanks for the participants(guang liang) that help me alot during caving :)
thanks for (jia rong and wilson) that wait and lend a hand for me during hiking.
without them, i think i hardly climb up the hill.
HAHA
never forget about the instructors of broga hill camp
THUMBS UP for you guys.
last but not least, thanks for joining our camp.
love you guys so much!
mwahhh.
you guys rocks my uni life!
i hope you guys seriously enjoy throughout the camp <3
below are some of the photos we snap during camp:)
p/s: wilson say he will rate me 9 out 10 for my marks XD
he say he minus 1 marks cause i mumble them too much :P

it was tiring yet enjoyable.
*at peak of broga hill*

with my "sons"  who act giyomi at midvalley. xD

the pretty girls i met during camp :)

us during camp fire X)

BBQ time :D

girls ;)

with my sis where most of the participants say i look more like elder sis(as i expected) :/

tiring face at broga hill! :)

beautiful scenery. love this photo so much <3

my pretty vivi x)

wilson, me, ying hui(sorry for using so long time to memorize your name), jia rong :)

group photo with instructors! ;)

thanks jia rong for helping me so much during hiking :P
p/s: we wore almost the same tee! XD 

tadaaa:)

us, the committees!:)

my "sons" X)
(eric, vincent, jeffrey, wilson) 

pretty lvze :)

after caving and waterfall abseiling :D

midvalley!

with the instructors ;)

crazy us:)

with one of my cute little son, wilson ;)

wanna see more photos? 

go to,  https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.560649497308248.1073741825.100000896081992&type=1

enjoy:)