hey there!
haha.
i dont know whether people are still reading my blog.
since i abandon it for so long.
it has been a month since i break up with him.
well.
it's not easy to pass through these days.
the hardest days is break up during final exam!
it seriously hurts a lot as i seriously put a lot of effort in this relationship.
friends around me, they noticed my changes.
but HE never noticed it.
i change from not going out with boyf to going out with HIM even though still not so frequent.
i change from not finding my boyf first to find HIM and wait for him to finish his labwork.
i change from not talking so much about my boyf to frequently talk about HIM with my friends.
i change from not texting my boyf first to texting HIM first sometimes.
i change from not requesting a recover for a r'ship to texting HIM and request to save back the r'ship.
i change from not crying for a guy to crying for HIM so much.
i change from not being a understanding girl to a understanding girlf to HIM.
i change alot because of him.
i know i aint a good girlf for my past r'ship.
but i tried to change a lot for him.
and he didnt realize it.
do you thought i am so strong?
i'm just pretending all the way!
i'm just pretending strong in front of my friends.
i still laugh. i still smile.
yet i feel hurt when i view back the text he send to me.
am i not that good till you feel that this r'ship is a burden for you?
i didnt request anything from you.
i just need you to understand me.
and you never told me about your problems even though i asked you.
and you told me you need time to trust me.
am i look like not trustable to you?
perhaps ya.
and i understand that. i didnt forced you to tell me too.
you said i didnt treat you like a boyf.
well, izit that important to tell the whole world that we are in a relationship?
i thought you said you dont mind about these when we were together at first.
i never deny when my friends ask me.
i admit that you are my boyf when my friends ask me.
still it is not enough for you.
i apologized for that and still you dont want to give us another chance.
you are giving up so easily when you faced problems.
i feel dissapointed but well, maybe you deserved a better girlf.
i hate myself for still thinking of you!
however, i promise myself to forget you as soon as possible.
it seems that i'm the only one who feel sad and cried for the r'ship.
it seems like doesnt matter for you.
i understood and i know is time for me to give up.
yes!
i will give up..
i know i will meet someone who is much better in the future:)
i know i can..
:)
