jealousy kills.

heyyo~

my post for today is jealousy kills.

i think i did post about jealousy previously

well, i got to update some about jealousy.

what does mean by jealousy.

seriously wth i am thinking.

i also dont know. 

jealousy.

what do you think about jealousy.

usually, i will get jealous easily.

is so damn easily.

i dont know why.

haha. 

is my personality since i am a kid.

but when i grow older, my jealousy level is reducing.

but today.

hellno.

my jealousy level went up today.

i used o get jealous in all sort of matter.

friends jealousy.

relationship jealousy.

family jealousy.

goods jealousy.

pretty jealousy.

all sort of stuff.

LOL.

i saw something that make me feel uncomfortable today.

what did i saw. nah, it's a secret here.

why do i get jealous over it instead there are actually not a big deal?

why why why.

please tell me why.

dumbasshole. 

:X

A step that change everything

Have you ever wonder once you move a step then everything will be different. 

Have anyone of you think about this before.

I just realize it is actually important to move a step forward first. 

It might change the entire story or life. 

Seems so dramatic. 

But I think it is quite true.

I have been wondering. 

How if I didn't move the step.

How if I move the step.

What will be happen. 

Nobody will know. 

Recently, I feel like I am a dumbfoolish girl! 

What is actually happening to me. 

My brain, please focus on  your study! 

My heart, please close the wound faster!

My eyes, please see the next person properly.

My ears, please listen carefully and attentively. 

My hands, please hold the right next person tightly. 

My legs, please walk with the right next person slowly.

Finally, my heart, please feel and treat the right next person sweetly.

Haha.

I hope I can do the above that I mentioned:) 

Loves. 

Noobie me. Haha.

Fatty me. :p

Crazy me. XD

My bestbuddy, shiwei:)

I don't know where I get the courage from.

I seriously don't know what happen to me yesterday. 

I think I seriously went crazy already.

But thanks to my sweetheart, shiwei for always being with me.

Without her, I think I couldn't make my first step.

Thanks 38po for always being with me. You know how grateful am I to have you as me bestbudy. Even though we seldom meet yet we are still close. And we got lots of topics to chat. Non stop chatting and laughing yesterday. Haha! I think I make you crazy yesterday too! XD

Seriously, I love your soup and bracelet:) 

Thanks for being so understanding to me. ❤❤❤❤❤ I think you are the only who can read my mind even though I hide my feeling! 

Haha.

You seriously my bestbuddy. Mwahhh. 

Your delicious abc soup. Slurppp. ❤

❤❤❤❤❤ p/s: don't mad on me for this photo ya. XD 

When wanna hangout again ya, 38po? 

It seems like we have been a time didn't I out together le:(

Miss the time we spend together and shop together at kl:) 

my grandma :)

i think i never blog about my grandma before.

my grandma or i usually call her as mama.

she is a brave and sweet lady.

she never say no whenever you need her help.

i still remember when i am a kid, she used to hold my hand and carried my school bag for me.

she used to walk out with me to wait for my school bus.

she offered her help to carry my heavy school bag even though she was tired.

she never say NO whenever she can help.

but when time pass.

wrinkles start to appear on her face.

her back start to hunch.

her appetite is not as good as before.

last time, when i hold her hand i can felt the fleshy and warm hand.

but i dont know since when her hand is becoming skinnier and skinnier.

when i hold her hand recently, i can felt her bone :(

she was so brave and strong when she is admitted in the hospital.

she even recognize me.

she used to tell me to drive slowly and not to back often to visit her.

she told me she scare i will skip my class.

when she is in ICU, she is so weak until she barely speak.

yet she still tell me she is fine.

tears rolling when i saw her lying on the bed with weak body.

then she is transferred to HDU. 

i am so lucky to have my day with my grandma at hospital.

i promised my grandma to overnight at there and accompany her.

i was late for 15mins and i'm so sorry to make my grandma worried.

she thought i am lost or being kidnapped. :')

nurse told me that my grandma has been calling my name for several times :(

sorry for making you so worried :/

then she is transferred to normal ward.

i thought you are in recovering process.

but NO, you mentioned that you wanted to go home.

and you said that even if you wanted to leave us you will leaved us at home :(

then you are finally home.
but you are weaken than before.
oxygen supplier is a need for you cause you barely breath.
when i step into your room, tears start to roll down.
but i hold my tears and call you several times.
slowly you open your eyes and smile with a weak smile.
i say you will be fine and dont worry.
you just smile:')
the next day, i still manage to make a cup of milk for you.
you say you wanted to take the medicine.
i thought you will be okay.
but time pass.
you left us at 3.45pm :'(
now, is almost 2 weeks you left us.
but memories of you are still fresh in my mind.
#imissyou#grandma
i hope you are enjoying yourself at another world and remember to take good care of yourself.
i will take good care of myself here.
so, dont worry about me:)
#iloveyou#memories#

:(

you will forever important in my heart, my lovely grandma:')

iloveyou <3